Etiquette Question of the Week

February 9, 2009 | Filed Under etiquette 

Q: I don’t have time to finalize my guest list, but I need to send my Save the Dates….do I need to send Save the Dates to everyone that I plan to invite to the wedding or can I send them to a select few? Kim – Silver Lake, OH

A: You should finalize your guest list and send the Save the Dates to every person you plan to invite to the wedding. Guests talk. If one of your guests hears that you sent Save the Dates but he/she did not receive one, they may feel like they were invited only as an afterthought when they receive the actual invitation.

It may seem like a pain, but finalizing your guest list early has the following advantages:

• You’ll already have the addresses of all your guests gathered when your invitations arrive.
• Think of the Save the Dates as a trial run. Any incorrect addresses will be discovered when the save the dates come back to you in the mail…..and then you’ll have plenty of time to obtain the correct address and keep the more expensive invitations from being returned
• You will have a more accurate guest count to give all your vendors….and that can help save you money in the long run
• Guests that will definitely not be able to attend might let you know early. This is an advantage when planning for the “b” list.

One other thing to be sure of: Send an invitation to everyone who received a save the date. Even if you’ve had a family fallout or fight with your closest pal…..you have already asked them to ’save the date’ and even if you know they won’t come, you should still present the option.

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